Blah Blah Blahg

"Spies and thieves!" she spits. "Spies and thieves."

In honor of the (albeit ridiculous) DOWNLOADABLILITY of "Wizard People, Dear Reader" I give you my favorite pieces of the script taken entirely from wall posts between GES and I.

"Gorgeous, floating Jackie-Os in the cafeteria, and every student is feasting. The spread is beautiful. Apples, candied apples, appled candy, candied whiskey, apple fritters, anything you could ever want.
Upfish informs H. P. and the Bear that Harmony has locked herself in the bathroom. 'She's been crying all day.'
Harry feels guilt pangs about this information, but Ronnie, Ronnie the Bear, he could give a fuck."

"FUCKIN SHIT growls harry, as he is more than hulking out at this."

"Harry gazes at the man's skin, a ketchupy callous of a face. 'I will make spells that save me from looking like him,' Harry makes that mental note, I assure you. The mental notes are stacking."

"spies and thieves!" she spits. "spies and thieves."

"the sweet wizard in remission is psychically linked with the beautiful snake-being, harry having dreamt himself of eating leopards, boars, and dik-diks.

and what do you know, harry can actually speak with this creature. will his talents never stop emerging? harry, with the social grace of a saint, is relating with the orphaned, captive, pig-hating snake."

"Holy Balls! He's bought the Turkish Owl!"

"he produces many a 'wine out of nowhere' spell and is drunk before noon"

Talking bones loosen and Harry relaxes into a wine-ish swagger. He talks closely with his RA.

"Who the fuck is that woman? She's got to be a half-troll."

The RA replies, "No, that's Professor Snake. She sucks for the most part, you know, acting mysterious and theatrical."

"God I hate that shit," replies Harry. "I'm here to learn, not to watch a performance."

Snake: What are you kids doing here?

Harry: We fucking go to school here.

Snake: You will be schooled here.

“You are so fucking stupid,” says Harry, and a staring match ensues. A staring match of silent restraint. Of course, Harry is the victor.

As Snake takes her leave, Harry turns to his brother and sister in arms and declares “I will fucking feel her blood on my hands TONIGHT!

posted by Bagel @ 3:56 PM